Day Nine: 22 February

Well, today was my last day here in Bangkok, so Laurie and I decided to wander across the river to check out a local temple, Wat Yannawa, which has an early 19th century Bot built under Rama III as a tribute to the sailboats that had made Thailand rich, at a time when steam was replacing sail. In a position along the river, the Bot takes the form of a boat. You enter through the stern and walk up a series of steps to a shrine in the wheelhouse and there are giant eyes painted on the bow to ward off evil spirits.

This is my kind of temple! When I get back to London I will definitely put eyes on the bow of Calamity Jane, and then with any luck it will be easier to find that missing part for my gear box. Incidentally, the temple also has a great view of Paul and Laurie's apartment building. There was a school trip in progress while we were there, and a kindly monk was showing a class of five or six-year-olds around the temple. They were having a great time, and Laurie and I were one of the highlights of their tour.

Wat Yawanna turns out to be the Wat that is frequented by well-to-do people, sort of the St George's Episcopal Church of Bangkok. And our visit coincided with the elaborate funeral of the matriarch of a wealthy Chinese coconut farm family on the outskirts of the city. Like all southern women of our age, Laurie and I really appreciate a good funeral and this one did not disappoint. I should explain that in this part of the world, funerals are like big weddings, and go on for days with a lot of different parties and ceremonies that are intended to celebrate the fact that the deceased has passed on to a better place. Because this was a Chinese affair, it was additionally possible to ensure that the departed would be comfortable, by constructing models of everything she could possibly need, that are then burned so that consumer goods will go with her to the other side.

I do not know this lady's name but I do know that she was much loved by her family because on display in Wot Yannawa's parish hall was the most spectacular model of the house she is going to live in now that she is no longer with us. The fountain in the front yard really works and everything!

In the back, there is nice patio furniture and a speedboat:

And mama is getting satellite tv! True Satellite is the same system that the Dreamers use. Laurie says she knew the reception was good, but she had no idea they could broadcast to heaven!:

We went upstairs to the hall where the big ceremony is being held before the pyre is lit. Hundreds of families had sent flower arrangements that were lining both sides of the hall. Paul Dreamer and I are descended from florists who moved to Nashville in the 19th century, but if they had come here they could have cleaned up. Flowers are clearly big business in Bangkok!

At the front of the hall there was seated a lady about our age, who turned out to be the daughter of the late matriarch, who was folding hand towels that were going to be funeral party favours for the monks at the temple. We gave our condolences/congratulations and she was happy for us to look around and oo and ah at everything. She also explained that the final ceremony is to take place on Sunday at 5pm, and that the family was hoping for a big turn out.

You know, middle-aged women all understand each other because, world over, we all have the same things on our minds: doing the best for our parents, wondering what on earth is going to become of our children, and resigning ourselves to the fact that most heterosexual men our age have the same emotional intelligence levels that they had when we first met them as adolescents.

We tore ourselves away and went to spend an afternoon at the Oriental Hotel - which is where we have assured our respective mothers that we have been for the past week - in order to collect evidence to make that story more convincing. I have learned after several decades away from home that this is the kindest thing to do. So, first we had refreshing drinks on the terrace, followed by manicures and shoulder massage. Then we had the Thai set tea in the Author's Room, which is very glamorous. I think that the pictures prove conclusively that we are southern ladies at heart!

After that we caught a taxi so that I could go home and finish packing in time for the car, that was due to arrive at 9pm to take me to the airport (the flight leaves really late so that you get into London first thing in the morning). While we were stuck in traffic, Paul called from Singapore to say that his meetings were going on longer than expected and that, while he could come to Bangkok for about 24 hours tomorrow, he would still be shuttling around southeast Asia next week.

We thought about that for a few minutes and then Laurie said, 'Well, it would be a shame to miss a good funeral, cousin Harriet.' So, change of plan! I changed the flight, and we spent the evening eating leftover curry from Dairy Queen and watching Bollywood films on the sofa.